Tuesday, May 31, 2011

What do GUYS want ????

Alright, I have been attaining enough blog posts about girls being bewildered about what they WANT & blah blah blah, so thought of returning the favor to guys for the "discernment". First thing, Do guys really know what they really "want" ?????

They will run behind a girl like a Majnu, do everything possible to "Impress her" and the moment, Ladki fasi, they presume them to be Ghar ki Murgi and start trailing other chicks around. They would crib about company not giving them opportunity to fly abroad but as soon as they land there, they would realize India was better. If you talk to them redundantly, you are not giving them 'space', if you don't call them or message them even for a day; they will ponder whether you are with another guy. They want their girlfriend to look ravishing but when she does, they would detest if someone appreciates her. They want love marriage, and after they bring home the bacon, an arranged was better. If you don't pay heed to their friends, you have an attitude problem and if you confabulate, you are flirting....List can go on and on and yet Endeavour to construe masculine complexity persists cryptic.

I aver the conception that it's baffling to prognosticate girls due to their immense emotions and decisions obnubilated by upsurge feelings instead of rational and coherent cerebration, but if you ask the bedrock, Girls just want a guy who can just LOVE her, that's all!

P.S. - Issued in Public (womanly) Interest for feminine incertitude and against male chauvinism. :D

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Slushy something

Hi there!

It's my 18th email to you and yet another despicable endeavor to long for your response. I had grit not to drop a line as I'm still going through the backwash of the trauma and suffering you provided and for all you know, it's not easy boy. Therefore, I tried persuading my mind saying you no longer acquire the prodigious place and you don't deserve one either? My mind urged and said I can render herculean efforts to get over you and I become convicted.....and right then my asshole heart comes and leaves me befuddled as it speaks of love- love which never expects back and then it makes me fall for you way over again with every elapsing moment and makes me consecrate my every word to you. It nullifies my campaign of "dis-remember you" as soon as it reminisces me of you calling me "honey, I love you"...I just submerge into those sweet memories of ours....and then reality strikes me and leaves me perplexed yet contemplated:

"In this crowded world,
if there was one thing, I could wish for 
I would wish for you to come back
the way you were before
passionately in love,
unaware of the universe
Echoing I'm yours....

In this crowded world
If there was one thing I could wish for
It will just be you,
and Wishes do come true,
sometimes, my Sweetheart"

-Droopy Rose

P.S.- Just an attempt to pen down schmalzy lines only for those who've been oppressed by their loved ones ever....

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Why Should Boys Have All the Fun ?

Time : Around 11 pm
Place: Manipal Center Signal, Bangalore                                  
Character: Myself and Another 'person'

There I was riding my Honda Pleasure...rashly above 60's. As soon as I crossed Manipal center signal, there he was! He immediately caught my attention, smiling, in white shirt, with a blackberry in right hand, waiting for me at left side of the corner road where barely you can see him due to absence of proper light . He'd noticed me too, he beckoned eagerly to made sure I see him and stop right there.........

Because, I was the bakra on a Saturday night and he'd witnessed me jumping the signal...ooops...these traffic police...They don't miss out when you break traffic rules, and why would they?.... they are remunerated for that and by catching you red handed, they earn their perquisite and apparently, Saturday's are lucky days for them :((
I applied sudden breaks and as a result bike surged forward with a quick jerk, I raised the helmet glass & peeped out...he seemed to be around 40 years old, wearing white shirt and khaki pant, had a big paunch which certified that he was a genuine traffic police :D
He said : You jumped the signal ( in Kannda accent )...and paused
I said in my mind, "I know that! else why on earth do you think I'm standing before you"...
Realizing he was waiting for me to utter something for the offence,
I replied: Sorry Sir, didn't notice the signal, it's late and......
he cut me down and spoke in typical police tone: No sorry worry, pay fine....and some words in kannada (which I couldn't catch) and show me the papers....what ? you can't see the red signal or what?
As soon as he spoke of papers I reminisced, last week my bike insurance expired and a week before that pollution check....I didn't give a damn back then and kept postponing it like a good citizen...and here I was! I'm so insane at times because of my devil-may-care attitude...duh!
I sighed and started speaking again: No sir, I follow all traffic rules and It's the first time I jumped a signal like this because it's 11pm and I have to rush home as my mom will be worrying (I was bluffing big time obviously)
He: That's what I'm also telling, like this accident happens, you young people will drive rashly all the time and won't follow the rules and then blame others if something happens.
he seemed too rigid, I mumbled in my mind again...(Buddy, you seem to be in mood for a long lecture for which I don't have time nor am I interested)
My thoughts were interrupted as he said reluctantly : No excuse...rules are rules...Show me the papers fast, DL, insurance and pay fine for crossing the signal.
Having no other choice left, I thought of using utmost and inviolable option.....
I looked into his eyes and gave an 'Alluring Smile' for a minute ( I know it was kinda sleazy but was a better option )...and said : I'm really sorry sir....won't do it again, please let me go.....and grinned again and faked my eyes expression to make sure he trips ;-))
and guess what, he was bewildered and it melted his ruggedness which meant he was swayed by my smile...
He said softly : It's ok, since this is your first time I'm letting you go, don't do it next time!...go now, it's late.

I just said thanks and without spending a single buck, I eluded. When I started riding my bike again, I began to think with pride ( may be ego)...Shoot! Was it that easy ????...and while I was lost in my thoughts, I realized I just jumped another red signal.....!!!!!

Disclaimer : Based on a true incident which is about a week's old.
If you are a guy reading : Don't even think of smiling, you might get penalized double :D
If you're a girl : Make sure you have proper documents, If not, don't break the rules and yes, smile part, keep that as a back up :) :) :)  

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Neki Kar Dariya me Daal!

Needless to say, it's facebook era though I'm expressing my salutation a little late....From getting up in the morning till sleepless nights, it can accompany you if you are socially unfrequented due to Internet addiction disorder (IAD) like I do :D. Food for thought which provoked this post has been the below lines which I came across some days ago:

"Pahle Neki kar dariya me daal,                      

Aajkal kuch bhi kar, facebook pe daal!"

Well, lately I have seen people expeditiously utilizing the divine option called "What's on your mind?" by updating their mood swings, best quotes, all kind of activities irrespective of making sense or nonsense and not to forget the status message to show callousness toward 'someone' :) I assert that sometimes reading status messages can be so hilarious and prove to be the stress buster too provided you're not in the same shoes. If nothing else, fb has established itself to be best platform to take revenge for the 'love fights' ( See for yourself, Google it and see the auto fills) :D and 'After break up effects' by putting some Bindaas status message, so that whole world knows that what opponent did was so fucking wrong & how you became the victim of the endless suffering ;)...well, this helps in getting the 'replacement' too at times or for all you know, at least people know about it: P

I come across, well, I'm sure even you do...status messages, like- I hate you ( which could mean I'm officially single and can hook up somewhere else), fuck off ( before you're fucked) , you're are an asshole ( I'm sure they don't cite the clean one), I don't give a damn ( well, if you don't, you wouldn't be putting it on your status), you suck ( comments! ) and many more words of gratitude...& yes, they put some songs/videos too which they wanna dedicate to the "adversary" by putting some special message for him/her like for the one who suck happiness out of me. And this does not end here, after putting the status, they would wait for people to comment such that they get the lifetime "opportunity" to elaborate more on the case and beat the shit of the dupe.

Apart from art of taking revenge, now comes the mirthful mood swings and activities like Bored, doomed, I cook so well ( unless you taste  it ), I'm great ( ya, we know it :P ), Feeling neutral ( well, this gets confounding ), hungry, sleepy, Missing, urrrrgghhh and the most jeopardous is I’m so pissed off proceed with caution (not to scare you if you are one of the sophisticated people but to admonish you to watch out and many more which obviously previse you how to react in a situation....comment on the status rather, if you are planning to write one :D

When we’re talking about……rather I’m talking about…oopps writing instead....updating status in facebook, how we can leave the Godly option "LIKE" and it’s my favorite one too...If many people liked your status, it makes you feel heavenly and popular….doesn’t it? Despite of this fact, sometimes, you gotta be deliberate when you like something on fb...Recently, one of my friends had put the status that he met with severe accident and will be hospitalized for 6 months due to fractures. and there were 4 people who liked the status instead of consoling the sad soul and try to vitalize him...duh, I'm sure they didn't mean that they liked his accident and the news that he has to spend his 6 fucking months in hospital, or even if they did for some reason, they wouldn't be making it so obvious by liking the status publicly (these feelings have to be private...come on!)...These are the people who would like every bloody shit you post on fb. I'm sure everybody will be 'privileged' to have such supporters in your fren list who would come what may ‘like’ and comment on your thoughts to let you know that no matter what, they are reading the bullshit you express on public forums. Well, I have such people and they are the saviors...muwahhhh

But at the end of it, we're all human beings and I personally feel it's better to share the feelings and salvage rather than keeping it inside....So sincerely thanks Mr. Zuckerberg for giving a space to share it, care it

So consecrate facebook....but yes, watch out, If can alleviate stress, it can become pain in ass too!

P.S- at times, been there, done that :D (in lesser extent )