Saturday, June 2, 2012

The First Marriage Interview

Being an Indian, you can't really escape the marriage interviews arranged by your parents. I don't understand why in this world, parents are better off handing over their problems (Read: daughter) to others happily. So after a lot of fight over the weeks, my parents finally scheduled a 'telephonice' marriage interview. So the interviewer who called me from poor chap's side was his sister's husband (Brother-in-law I guess). I would call him BIL in my this post.
Day 1:
I got a call from BIL in office hours and luckily I wasn't at my desk. After I came back, I saw the unattended call and ignored it like I do. Really, if someone really needs to talk to me, they would call back. I got another call after 15 mins and I picked up the call
Instead of saying hello, I said "Who's this?
BIL: I got your number from your family for marriage proposal. Can we talk?
Me: Oh is it. I'm at work and damn busy. Please call me later in my non working hours.
BIL: Sure, What time does your office end?
Me: It's 9:30 am to 6:00 pm but I work late hours usually. Working on an important project these days. I get home by 9:30
BIL: Sure, I will call you by 10:00 pm today.
Me: Sure. That'd be good. Bye.

BIL seemed to be very firm in his dream of getting me married to his Sister's brother. Though he had received my cold response, he wasn't gonna give up. But I'm not that easy. I thought I will talk and make sure he gets scared of his dream and gives up.

He called up and it was first time in my corporate life years, I forgot my cell at my desk. Next day, when I received my phone, I saw 3 missed calls from the same number. and as usual I ignored them.

Day 2
By 10:00 pm, I got the call from BIL and answered.
BIL: Hello, How are you? I guess it's good time to talk to you now.
Me: Sorry, that day I forgot my phone at work. Yes, we can talk.
Silence for 1 min. We both were not sure who would start the conversation. He started to speak after sometime passed.
BIL: Can you tell me about yourself.
What the fuck man? Am I giving some kind of job interview-I thought. Yet, I had to respond and give my best to make sure it's my last conversation with him.
Me: I work with So and so company as so and so. I love my job and I'm a career oriented girl. This is the first time, I'm talking to someone about the marriage.I'm not a good cook but I can cook for myself.
BIL: Tell me about your Academics? Your date of birth and he asked other questions which can piss you off easily.
I kept my calm and answered the questions.
I answered the questions and thought it was time for me to give back. I'm sure he didn't expect me to ask the next set of questions which I did
Me: Can you tell me about the guy? What does he do? his studies? What's his job profile and how long has the guy been working. what's his age.I finished in almost one breathe.
BIL gave me the answers in a cold tone. He said the guy has been mom's boy and hence, he's been staying with his family until he got a job in Delhi. Before he could finish. I started again.
Me: So why does the guy wanna get married so soon? anyway, tell me about yourself too? Where do you work, your professional life? Please tell me about your job profile. It'll be good to know.
BIL: I would love to answer your questions. But it will be easy if we meet face to face. We both stay in B'lore and can meet up.By the way, I have sent you friend request and haven't got any response.
I asked what his name was and logged into my fb to search his fren request which soon will be declined from my end. I can't tell you how much funny I felt when I recalled my statement to my sister looking at the fb friend request I'd received 2 days ago, I had told her: Anyone is joining facebook these days. Look at this ass and unfortunately I was on call with that ass now :D
Me: Yes, I see the request but you see, I don't add people until I know them.
BIL: Can you send me some of your good snaps to my email id.
Though I pretended to note down the email id, In reality  I was responding to my fren's message on fb.
Me: I will eat dinner now. Pls communicate through my dad/mom for any further actions.
The call finally got over and I'd lost my precious 55 mins on that call. To make that time productive, I declined the friend request immediately.

Not that I'm against my family or arranged marriage but I'm so different from others and my thought process will not match such a guy. I don't know what I did but it seemed right. Why BIL didn't respond when I asked about his job profile or life. Why do "some" of the guys family think that they're doing a favor by marrying a girl just because they're from guy's side. I don't like that perception personally. Marriage is not a business or not a game where a guy's family have to win. It's more about meeting two souls which have things in common to lead a good life.

It was new year after that call and I didn't speak to my parents for 2 days just to avoid any talks about this. Strangely, my phone beeped and it was a message from BIL to wish me and my family a happy new year. I deleted the message right after reading. Some people don't give up, do they?


  1. People are persistent, some in efforts and some in memories. Seems like you too haven't given up on the escapade? It's almost half year past the last new year's eve.

    Perhaps, the thought that girls are 'paraya dhan' has been ingrained in everyone's head, and it is better to let go of something that isn't yours as soon as it can be, and still is dear to you. Maybe, just maybe, that is why parents make haste in marrying their apple of the eye (daughter).

    Blasphemous Aesthete

    1. hmmm..I wrote the post in Jan but somehow posted in now....someone has said It's never too late for anything.

      Thank you for referring us as parent's Apple of the eye and I concur that we are :)

  2. :)

    Have fun through the many more interviews yet to come :P

    1. You should be one of my wellwishers, Yogi :D

  3. I think this idea of "looking for a suitable boy" in India will take a long time to change.

  4. "Why do "some" of the guys family think that they're doing a favor by marrying a girl just because they're from guy's side. I don't like that perception personally. Marriage is not a business or not a game where a guy's family have to win. It's more about meeting two souls which have things in common to lead a good life."

    liked your philosophy of marriage...very much..

  5. It was more like a job interview and why did the mama's boy not like to speak to you directly:)

    1. Trust me..Job interviews are better Rahul...I had that question too but unfortunately lost the chance to get that clarified.


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